Why Are Black Women So Angry???

Why Are Black Women So Angry????

By: A. L. Cooper

Most black women have all heard the stereotype about us being the “angry black woman” and many of us have been insulted when it is mention.  As a black woman, I also become offended when I hear the stereotype.Then defend the subject by notating that angry is an emotion and is not limited to a particular class of people.  However, I must admit that lately I have been experiencing far too many unpleasant encounters with my fellow Nubian sistas and it has made me ask…...WHY ARE BLACK WOMEN SO ANGRY????? 

This question is not new and has always been a thorn in every black woman’s side for years.  And everyone seems to have an opinion to express.  Some say it is because of the drama created by the dynamics of being involved with certain types of black men.  I have heard it is because we have carried the weight of our culture for so long, that what may seem like anger is just deep-rooted self-made strength. Some have even suggested that we are angry because most of us are overweight and cannot get a man. Now, I cannot prove that these opinions are wrong and I cannot say that they are right.  What I can say is this, all black women are not angry but most of us do sometimes appear as though we are.  

Other races and even our own black men perceive us as angry, bitter, and difficult to get along with.  Our notorious attitude is consistently displayed on any given day with the new hype of reality television.  We celebrate our own stereotypes by supporting movies which portray us as loud mouth hell raisers.  We concrete others opinions when we refer to others and ourselves as a bad bitch.  Moreover, we openly reward indignant behavior with our sista slang…"Oh no they didn’t", "Gurl, you don’t owe them anything", "This is just how I am, they just hating"!!!    Maybe they are not hating, maybe we do appear angry, maybe we do need to develop better social skills and maybe just maybe we need to start breaking down generational walls and redefine the words "strong black woman" to include the word "kind."

In my opinion, social etiquette is something that we as black women struggle with and our inability to appear friendly confirms opinions about our “attitude.”

Recently I was standing in line and was behind two black women.  The line was long and eye contact was unavoidable.  When that faithful moment occurred where everyone eyes exchanged glances, I initiated the ritual of positive social behavior by displaying the peace smile, and waited for the basic pleasantry to be reciprocated. As I stood there, freezing the peace smile in place while waiting for an acknowledging gesture. I waited and waited and waited and I am still waiting.  Both black women simply assessed me, rolled their eyes and snarled. I passed it off as maybe they both were having a bad day but like I stated earlier, it seems as though most of my fellow Nubian sisters are having bad days every day. The bottom line is that we have to do better. Lacking simple social etiquette is not a part of our history and does not celebrate us as black women. 

Back in the early 1900’s black women prided themselves on being socially adept in all circles.  In 1916, "The Colored Girl Beautiful" was published by Emma Azalia Smith Hackley and is believed to be the first documented and widely circulated etiquette book targeted to Black women.

 Over the years, social etiquette has somehow eroded and what has emerged is a mentality that being rude, guarded and indignant is a display of strength, pride and acceptance of one’s self. 

Well, it is not and for those of us that have embraced that mentality, I hope that you renew your mind with the words of Mother Teresa 

"Let no one ever come to you without leaving better and happier. Be the living expression of God's kindness: kindness in your face, kindness in your eyes, and kindness in your smile."

Sistas let us remember those words and challenge ourselves to change the negative stereotypes about our attitudes by displaying positive social etiquette one smile at a time. And that is "The Truth According To A. L. Cooper!!!"

Now let the church say AMEN...