Why Are Black Women So Angry???

Why Are Black Women So Angry????

By: A. L. Cooper

Most black women have all heard the stereotype about us being the “angry black woman” and many of us have been insulted when it is mention.  As a black woman, I also become offended when I hear the stereotype.Then defend the subject by notating that angry is an emotion and is not limited to a particular class of people.  However, I must admit that lately I have been experiencing far too many unpleasant encounters with my fellow Nubian sistas and it has made me ask…...WHY ARE BLACK WOMEN SO ANGRY????? 

This question is not new and has always been a thorn in every black woman’s side for years.  And everyone seems to have an opinion to express.  Some say it is because of the drama created by the dynamics of being involved with certain types of black men.  I have heard it is because we have carried the weight of our culture for so long, that what may seem like anger is just deep-rooted self-made strength. Some have even suggested that we are angry because most of us are overweight and cannot get a man. Now, I cannot prove that these opinions are wrong and I cannot say that they are right.  What I can say is this, all black women are not angry but most of us do sometimes appear as though we are.  

Other races and even our own black men perceive us as angry, bitter, and difficult to get along with.  Our notorious attitude is consistently displayed on any given day with the new hype of reality television.  We celebrate our own stereotypes by supporting movies which portray us as loud mouth hell raisers.  We concrete others opinions when we refer to others and ourselves as a bad bitch.  Moreover, we openly reward indignant behavior with our sista slang…"Oh no they didn’t", "Gurl, you don’t owe them anything", "This is just how I am, they just hating"!!!    Maybe they are not hating, maybe we do appear angry, maybe we do need to develop better social skills and maybe just maybe we need to start breaking down generational walls and redefine the words "strong black woman" to include the word "kind."

In my opinion, social etiquette is something that we as black women struggle with and our inability to appear friendly confirms opinions about our “attitude.”

Recently I was standing in line and was behind two black women.  The line was long and eye contact was unavoidable.  When that faithful moment occurred where everyone eyes exchanged glances, I initiated the ritual of positive social behavior by displaying the peace smile, and waited for the basic pleasantry to be reciprocated. As I stood there, freezing the peace smile in place while waiting for an acknowledging gesture. I waited and waited and waited and I am still waiting.  Both black women simply assessed me, rolled their eyes and snarled. I passed it off as maybe they both were having a bad day but like I stated earlier, it seems as though most of my fellow Nubian sisters are having bad days every day. The bottom line is that we have to do better. Lacking simple social etiquette is not a part of our history and does not celebrate us as black women. 

Back in the early 1900’s black women prided themselves on being socially adept in all circles.  In 1916, "The Colored Girl Beautiful" was published by Emma Azalia Smith Hackley and is believed to be the first documented and widely circulated etiquette book targeted to Black women.

 Over the years, social etiquette has somehow eroded and what has emerged is a mentality that being rude, guarded and indignant is a display of strength, pride and acceptance of one’s self. 

Well, it is not and for those of us that have embraced that mentality, I hope that you renew your mind with the words of Mother Teresa 

"Let no one ever come to you without leaving better and happier. Be the living expression of God's kindness: kindness in your face, kindness in your eyes, and kindness in your smile."

Sistas let us remember those words and challenge ourselves to change the negative stereotypes about our attitudes by displaying positive social etiquette one smile at a time. And that is "The Truth According To A. L. Cooper!!!"

Now let the church say AMEN...

Success: How To Determine If You Have Achieved It By: A.L. Cooper

Success: How To Determine If You Have Achieved It 

By: A. L. Cooper

Every entrepreneur has an innate desire to be successful. Their ultimate goal is to get in the game and cross the finish line to be among the best. However, what is the measuring stick that they can used to determine if they have arrived? How can they truly know if they are successful? 

To explore this question let's take a look at Robert Kiyosaki’s “Cash Quadrant” from his book “Rich Dad, Poor Dad.”

In his book, he has a basic model that breaks downs the four steps in the journey of a business owner which are: Employee, Self Employed, Business Owner, and Investor. 

Steve Jobs, Bill Gates, Robert Johnson, Warren Buffet, Robert Kiyosaki, Arthur Blank and Mark Zuckerberg, are just a few of the many iconic business leaders crossed the finish line of success. However, what unites them is not their successes; but it is their journey. To understand what makes each leader successful, we must first understand the definition of all four types of people listed in Robert Kiyosaki’s “Cash Quadrant” model. 

The first is “Employee”; an employee is best described as someone who works for someone else. “Self-Employed” is someone who owns his own job and is his own boss. “Business Owner” is someone who owns a business to make money and typically, the owner’s physical presence is not required. “Investor” is someone who is investing money in order to receive a larger income in the future.  

Each business leader followed the four steps and had the same beginning as most of us. They all started out as an earned income employee and each one made a decision to pursue the innate drive in their soul and become self employed.

In my opinion, it is that drive that kept them going no matter how discouraging it became. No matter what, they did not sit at the self-employed marker, they traveled on to the next step and became a Business Owner and untimely an Investor. 

They refused to accept the title of success, just because their financial lifestyle could well afford them to. Instead, they pressed on to reproduce the steps of their success by repeating the “Cash Quadrant” model. Each leader perfected the cycle by understanding that their successes came from starting over at step one when they achieved success.  

No matter how successful they were, they reset their mindset back to Step One:

"Employee" and let the trust and commitment from their employees be their boss.

 They worked harder and became more creative with every new venture because they were moving towards Step Two:

"Self-Employed" which would require them to keep the hunger and drive of one who is working for himself. 

They continued on to Step Three:

Business Owner" by embracing this mindset they fueled the economy by providing jobs for like-minded employees. 

Ultimately, they reached Step Four:

"Investor" and received the satisfaction of success. At this level they enjoyed the reward of diversifying their portfolio, by not just investing their money but also investing in people and the community. 

"The Truth According to A. L. Cooper" is this; true success is achieved when you can repeat, improve, and give back. So many of us get enthralled in the spell of being self-employed that once we reach the promise land of Business Owner and enjoy the land of milk and honey that is called Investing, we stop and claim the victory of success. However, true success is remembering the hard work of our journey and repeating it over and over to claim the real prize of investing in people, communities, and our on legacy over and over again. 

I am not sure if Robert Kiyosaki would agree that the Cash Quadrant model he wrote about was meant to be repeated. However, I personally feel that by repeating the steps, the true spirit of success can overflow in the lives of every freethinking entrepreneur, set a blue print for guaranteed success, and provide a return in other people’s lives through giving back.

So to answer my question, “Success, when do you know that you have achieved it?” I guess the answer is when you can rest easy knowing that you have repeatedly perfected your steps to success; and gave back enough to make a difference by changing lives.

Remember success was meant to be contagious; SO SPREAD IT!!!!!